Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Boston Pizza Pie in the eye, Part 1

If you head on down to your local Boston Pizza at lunch, grab a seat in their comfortable restaurant, and open a menu you might say to yourself... "Hmm, I feel like a pizza, I may just eat one, I am at Boston Freakin' Pizza after all!" When you say this the last thing that may come to mind is that that pizza could cost you more than you expect...
I don't mean that the pizza has some strange disease or comes with teen pregnancy, that would be awkward and illegal I think... No, it can literally cost you well more than you would expect a pizza of that size to cost. Here's my dilemma... Check out the Menu. If you get one of their "Gourmet" pizzas(which means dry and lacking character) it's $16.79 and it's only 10" inches. Sure they serve it on a real plate at a real wood table with an actual waitperson taking your order but come on, you gotta tip the waitperson anyway. To do a comparison check out the other guys. Pizza Pizza, Domino's, Papa John's, there's a trend developing here. Pizza pizza sells a medium for $8.49 and has a $5.00 lunch special on that same pizza, and their medium is 12" not 10". Basically you can pay nearly three times the industry average for that medium just to eat lunch at Boston Pizza! At least they charge me $2.79 for a fountain drink, I wonder if refills are free? That doesn't make sense, so... 
I sent my research to the people with the answers to do a little cost analysis, maybe they use a fancy flour milled by hand by artisans who work with alabaster in their spare time or perhaps their pepperoni isn't rough ground pork and beef it's wild impala meat farmed in a totally humane and respectful way. Whatever the case, the customer service e-mail at BP will certain give me the right answers. Oddly however, my query is not among the FAQ's on their web site, how strange...

FAQ: Why the hell are your pizza's so expensive? 


Here's what I wrote: 


I visited your Waterloo location with a few colleagues of mine for lunch earlier this summer and we all shared a concern over a glaring pricing issue on your menu. One of my colleagues is a little obsessed with pizza and oddly had never eaten pizza at a BP location. We all ordered our own medium size original pizza and had a hard time stomaching the bill for dessert. With a non-alcoholic drink before tax or tip it came to $19.58 each... That makes for an expensive lunch considering at say Pizza Pizza, you can enjoy a larger medium pizza starting at $5.00 with a $1.00 drink. I do like to compare apples to apples and I can see that there are some inequalities in the comparison I'm making but your apples are easily three times more expensive after a tip than your competitions. Why are your pizza's so very expensive? Even the least expensive version of the medium is more than double the price of your competition and smaller than the standard 12" medium available nearly everywhere else. Please lower your prices to save face and customer base. 

I've been promised a response within 2 business day! 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Be funny and get to the point... Don't point, it's rude...

Good morning early readers, I have no idea why I'm not hung over right now; sure it's a Wednesday and you probably shouldn't be hung over on a Wednesday but sometimes life creeps up on you and says "hey, time to have some fun on a weekday!"

Anyway, I wanted to get these thoughts on paper... screen... before they float away on the torrid sea of my mind.

We had a get together, four people, drinks laughs and a plan to head out to one of Waterloo's finest places to eat Bhimas Warung. A real hole in the wall but world class quality, they have amazing everything and although pricey it's well worth a visit. Anyway, they were closed when we finally arrived so we had to make the game time decision. Bauer Kitchen or Rude Native, we knew the Bauer was going to be dead, so Native it was. The place had live music and the band was drawing people in, so it didn't seem bad. How wrong we were, the staff was busy serving drinks and drinkers and it was about 10:30 at this time so we're much more hungry than thirsty. Our first waiter had no time for us and the second waitress had many more tables than ours to worry about. In English, service was slow... Hard to blame them but really that's poor planning on management's part and a simple acknowledgement from the waitress that our service was sucking would have been nice... Didn't get it... Just sass... More on that later.
The appetizer menu is the only menu at night like many restaurants, every app has a deliciously alluring description and they're all $11. We order 5 things and assume they'll be plenty for four people to eat.
Problem 1) the food takes forever to show up, we were starving when we arrived so by the time the food came we're nearly eating the table dressing.
Problem 2) We get 4 of things we wanted and samosas, we didn't order samosas we ordered steamed clams, I can understand the mix up they may sound the same in a loud environment.
Problem 3) the overworked waitress is sassy and sass is a pain in the ass when I'm the one tipping you not the other way around. "We didn't order samosas" "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure, we ordered steamed clams" "Well it's for your table" "Understandable but we didn't order them"... Let's pause here, people in the service industry ATTENTION PLEASE, if you fuck up an order the best way to impress the customer into granting  you a good tip is to give them more than they wanted. In other words, leave me the samosas and get the clams too and I'll tip you...
Problem 4) Instead of that, this happened, she grabs the samosas and says "we won't charge you for these" sweet, because I didn't order them and you're taking them away from us so if I were a mathematician, nothing plus nothing equals more frustration points for this service.
Problem 5) the portions are small, 6 apps wouldn't have even come close to filling us up and for $11 each that's a big deal.
Problem 6) the food sucks, as in we only finished the burnt breaded shrimp out of all of the items, I could go on about this point but I'd rather say I'm plainly disappointed. I've been to the Rude Native before for great meals but that was several years ago. Out of the 5 appetizers we had not one was up to the calibre of food I'd expect from an Applebee's let alone a restaurant with prime real estate in Uptown Waterloo masquerading as a fine dining establishment.
Problem 7) we ordered the bill as soon as the food arrived because we wanted the hell out pretty early on, the waitress chose the end of the meal to tell us that our crappy-apps were only $4 each, which makes me think, why are regularly $11 apps $4... Is this the food that's going bad or the C team in the kitchen? If the shoe fits...

Counting back from 10 I give this service a whopping 3 tin stars... Craptacular!

We left, hungry, went to McMullan's which always has great pizza and many great beers on tap, get a wheel and finish it off just in time to catch a cab back home to go to sleep because it's late and we're tired. Two great revelations at McMullan's... In the washroom, where I do a lot of thinking...

A) The urinal pads they use are shaped like the Cobra Insignia (that's right, the G.I.JOE Cobra insignia)

B) Some vandal scrawled "Relax... Just Pee..." on the wall in front of the Urinal. It worked and the light bulb in my head flickered to life. These in-your-face-while-you're-peeing advertising companies should capitalize on this concept. Blank white page, black text "Relax... Just Pee..." some sort of logo for the product that you're plugging in the bottom right. Ingenious, or so I'd like to think. Motivational Pee-vertizing! TM, MD, PHD ESQ


Sunday, July 10, 2011

Researching good blog title advice is frustrating...

From July 10, 2011

The mother behind me is telling her son off "Don't eat your snack yet, eat your dinner first. You finish your chicken nuggets before you eat your apples, you don't want to mess with your blood sugar buddy." I can tell I’m back in Chicago.
Well I'm on my way to Euphoric Eau Claire WI for a couple of day, just leaving O'hare right now. Other than super mom nothing has caught my attention on this trip yet. I had an AMAZING day yesterday; my wonderful girlfriend and I visited one of our favorite places to be, Niagara on the Lake to try out some new wineries and experience Hillebrand Jazz at the Winery. We had a quiet Friday night at the Falls and an early Saturday morning on our bikes (not motorcycles, the things with pedals, ding ding!) riding from winery to winery to buy some new wines to sample. We hadn’t really checked out a lot of the wineries on the west side of Niagara on the Lake so off we went. MAP


Sunnybrook Farm Estates: So freakin’ cool! They’re not a very large operation and their products seem to turn off most visitors as soon as they walk in and see no grape wines, but make no mistake they are great at what they do. Sunnybrook produces a cider which blows import ciders away; it’s not blindingly sweet which is a BIG plus. Their fruit wines are also unique, certainly not some sugar laden strawberry zinfandel swill, quality fruit wines! 3 thumbs up!

Konzelmann Winery: I’ve been here before and their wines are okay, I did buy 2 bottles this go round, but what I love most about this winery is how engaging their sommeliers are. Really passionate and knowledgeable people that like to talk wine, and not just their own. A consistent Gold Star performance!

Palatine Hills Estate Winery: Probably my favorite underdog; if your estate winery tasting pavilion in is a warehouse instead of some well groomed and magnificently manicured vineyard and wine castle then you’re the underdog losing the aesthetics battle. In any case, their reds are bold, bold, bold, and they have one great dry 2006 Cab that tantalizes my taste buds. Two more bottles…The glass isn’t half full here, it’s full to the brim with excellence!

Stone Church Vineyards: Passionate people and more great wines, what can I say, this winery is a must visit and I’m disappointed that I haven’t been there before. The sommelier that was working with us brought out the salami; no that's not a euphemism but it was a nice treat with the wines. Two more bottles… and 150 bonus points!

Pillitteri Estate Winery: A) it’s off the highway, which is pretty inconvenient B) two words, BUS TOUR, so we’re just another glass to fill, no fun C) We had little selection and the new kid pouring the wine, snore. In and Out, nothing nice to say about… them… sorry…Exceptionally flashy bottles and web site though.

The Jazz festival starts at three so we gotta go, lunch on the water… Oh yeah lunch.

Recipe time: Picnic Baskets…

Picnic baskets are outstanding, you can build up a simple collage of your favorite things and mix and match your flavours. I love cured meats, cheeses, olives, and crackers; try some of these next time your want something savory.

Raincoast Crisps – I haven’t found a flavour that I don’t like, they’re the best.
Almond, blue cheese, or jalapeno stuffed olives – all so good and a great way to accent a martini too!
Cured meats, salami, supressata, shinker mager, etc.
Applewood smoked cheddar – My favorite cheddar, I’m going to make some soon
La Sauvagine – eat your heart out brie cheese
Blue Haze – so blue so good
Fresh cherries – thanks fruitland!


…the Jazz Festival far exceeded my expectations and involved an act-of-too-nice-edness story. We were new, never been to one of these before but excited nonetheless. We got lawn seats, nobody told us that you would need to get there super early and sit inches from another listener sprawled out with lawn chairs and coolers of? So when we showed up late without chairs the abbreviated letters S.O.L. were the only thing that came to mind. I explained it as clearly as that to one person working there, then their boss, then her boss and then I was shown to my new seats, in the Trius Red lounge where we’d have our own chair, a waitress, and an umbrella, now we’re talkin’. They mentioned it would be on the house and I was touched. The jazz was amazing and wine complimented it well. FUN AND 1/2, highly recommended and I shall return!

Still waiting for some member of the flight crew to arrive so that we can fly to Minneapolis (ps. Travelling to Minneapolis really helped me type Minneapolis much more quickly, practice makes perfect.). Tangent over… time to fly!

Ever in Eau Claire??? Eat at the Green Mill, better yet stay at the Holiday Inn next door too because the food is soo good and soo cheap! Some of the better pizzas I’ve had.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

Dear Kraft, why are you trying to kill me...

I have a confession to make, I love Kraft dinner... I know what you're thinking, some of you read this and think what's the big deal it's delicious and contains powder, how bad can powder be? Others are thinking, you're gross-er than an unwashed limb in a cast and that's pretty gross. Kraft dinner has been my go to quick and easy no effort necessary dinner since I can remember. Moreover, Kraft dinner has kept me warm and fed on many a poor college night. I never really though about what was in it until last night, I don't even know if I've even read the box, couldn't tell you what the instructions are. Kraft dinner for my generation is the one meal that anyone no matter how lazy or inept can cook. I like my KD, but now....

Kraft dinner is not good for you; that is if your definition of good is, healthy, nutritious, non-obese causing...

I found this info on Original recipe KD and it grossed me out a little.

Per cup, I would assume that's per cup prepared not dry (70 g) you get:
(aside, I don't eat a cup, I eat the whole box because I'm 6' 200 lbs. and a cup won't do, it's probably 4+ times that)
• 651 mg of salt - that's 23% of what Canada's horribly fatty food guide recommends - that's bad...
• 47.5 g of carbohydrates - that's 16% - but it's pasta so that's expected - if you're lazy your body stores those carbs for later; I think later is your 40's when you get diabetes or have your first eye opening stroke...
• and all of the other wonderful things that come with highly processed foods with no shelf expiration date, at least it has iron though, they say it's good for kids.

None of this shit surprises me, it's readily available on any Google search; what pisses me off is that on this quest I found a contest on the Kraft page to take the KD pledge... Essentially you send in a video to pledge your allegiance to a life filled with Orange cheese flavored pasta, consequence free?..

Eat the KD Smart stuff, its got cauliflower, or is that just good marketing taking advantage of lazy people...


Benner, I want something health sans bullshit and marketing, I can't eat your marketing...

Friday, April 8, 2011

Uncle Ben Strikes Back!

Uncle Ben got back to me; here's what he had to say about my query:

Dear Mr Benner,

Thank you for your inquiry regarding our BISTRO EXPRESS® Rice.

Mars Canada is committed to providing consumers with food products that are enjoyable, nutritious and safe and which adhere to Canada’s rigorous food safety regulatory system.

Following a risk assessment regarding the safety of Bisphenol A, the Government of Canada has announced that there are no safety or health concerns for the general population concerning the use of BPA in food packaging, risk is negligible and there is a very low exposure of this substance to the Canadian population.

At Mars Canada, we will continue to monitor the expert community for new developments into research on BPA.

Our BISTRO EXPRESS® ENTREE Rice products are shelf stable and have a 1 year shelf life when stored under the proper conditions.  Similar to canned products, these pouches are hermetically sealed and can be stored in your cupboards or pantry for up to one year past their manufacturing date.

Again, just like in the canning process, the thermal process used to render the BISTRO EXPRESS pouches commercially sterile is more than adequate to kill mould spores present in the atmosphere.  On the rare occasions that a product goes bad before its expiry date, it has been as a result of gross damage in distribution.

We have done extensive testing to ensure the materials that make up the BISTRO pouch meets all our requirements for retort.  Since the retort process involves high temperature and pressure, pouches are tested for delamination and strong seal properties.  The plastic films that make up the pouches are non-porous materials that can handle the conditions of the retort and microwave.  The printing inks are food grade, non-lead and printed between film layers prior to lamination.

We thank you for your interest in our products.


Your Friends at MARS Canada Inc.

Please do NOT reply to this email.  If you would like to respond to this message, click on the link below.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Uncle Ben's plastic express rice...

I'm bored and when I'm bored I like to research topics that may have crossed my mind that day. I hate plastics, not in all forms, that's impossible. Plastics are everywhere, I'm pretty sure that plastic is the primary component that makes up the very electronic computing device I type upon now. We can't avoid plastic but I do try to avoid it in my kitchen.
Chemicals scare the shit out of me because I'm of a generation that has heard enough about what previous generations didn't do to protect themselves from the adverse effects of chemicals. I was born after Silent Spring, I didn't walk through a jungle of Agent Orange, and I grew up in rural Ontario dodging air pollution's daunting blow. And yet we're not out of the woods yet, my mom still reused and microwaved plastic containers when we were kids, I did also, the margarine tub. I guarantee I've eaten hundreds of microwaveable packaged lunches that could very well have been lined with BPA or whatever else we haven't seen the long term effects of yet.
The point I'm trying to get at is that I dislike plastic because it contains chemicals that are known to be harmful to humans like me, and I'm a human like me. I don't use plastic storage containers for anything but bolts; if the curry can stain the plastic can't the plastic leech something back? We know it can, many times better if it's heated, I just read some insightful articles on the topic of PBA from 2008 when it was a major topic to articles written now. As we all well know BPA = BAD but I've yet to find something that clearly defines what products are still using it and what aren't; because it's not illegal, as the FDA considers some products containing BPA safe. Canada was the first country to declare BPA a toxin and ban it's use in baby bottles, Wikipedia tells me it happened in September, thanks Wikipedia. Scare facts time, 93 percent of the population in 2008 had BPA in their system. It effects infants most heavily and has recently been show to aid obesity, these are all bad. The FDA regularly publishes material exposing more about the effects of plastics yet an anti plastic movement gains credibility like a no smoking campaign...

What started all of this is....

I disappeared for a minute there, short attention span, I'm going in two directions now. I'm going to the source... Wait that's the start of a sentence for later. I eat Rice. Uncle Ben's rice, Bistro Express to be precise rice. I never, ever, ever microwave it in the bag because I hate plastic bags, right because I was just ranting about plastic. Anyway, the wheels came off about the time I was digging through my trash looking for the rice bag to check for some sort of BPA free declaration, I didn't see one not sure if I should. A challenge, I checked the website, nothing there either, odd I can't be the only consumer to have asked this question. So here I am,

Good evening Uncle Ben,

I was wondering if your Bistro Express rice pouches are BPA free? I can't seem to find it anywhere on the pouch and there's nothing on the website either, I'm also not an expert on the topic just curious. Perhaps you could shed some light on my query?

Kind regards,


Oh I can't wait to see what that clever devil has to say in response, I'm wringing my hands with gnawing anticipation. Crusade!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Salt Lake Serviced

On my way home from SLC, I’m incredibly surprised that I wasn’t able to find time to blog while there. I’m currently sitting in the New Belgium Brewing Company restaurant in Denver International… 2 hours ‘til boarding, plenty of time to write. I’m drinking great beer and eating mediocre food; I really just wanted to try their Fat Tire Amber Ale, very impressed. A few more and I’ll be ready to sleep my way back to Toronto.

On a side note I’m struggling this week with my internal monologue, kind of like multiple personalities, Multiple Accents Disorder? (aka, M.A.D.). The majority of my internal monologue is being narrated by my buddy Dexter; to properly read this post I want you to change the cadence of your internal monologue to resemble that of a man born and raised inner city ATL baby. Uh Huh, that’s right. I pick up regional accents quite easily; I’m not quite sure why but I can’t avoid doing it, oddly nobody has ever found it offensive or mocking, it isn’t. Anyway, Salt Lake City quickly became known as SLC; every sentence ended with baby, and no matter what you’re sellin’, pushin’ or hustlin’; pimpin’ ain’t easy… baby... I like it, the new internal monologue that is, not pimpin'; I’ll probably wear this one for a while until it starts to rub people the wrong way.

Salt Lake was outstanding, which really surprised me, it’s a town entirely isolated, save for the smaller towns that surround it (there aren’t many). If you drive west it’s more than an hour and a half to the closest house, forget town, nobody lives on the Salt Flats. Wendover Nevada sits on the state border and it isn’t what I would call civilized. A couple of casino’s, one easy to miss and easy to get ticketed at stop sign, no comment... Reno Nevada is the closest city listed on the road signs almost 600 miles away. Isolated indeed, PS, you’ll never believe this but Charlie Sheen is on TV again… Despite the isolation SLC is under crowded (a huge plus), scenic, well fed, and entertaining.

Salt Lake looked big from my room (Population of 181,743 metro area / 1.2 million surrounding area, thanks Wikipedia) but it has relatively no traffic problems downtown. Their stop lights are lame, really lame, not at all timed lame, as in you’ll catch every red light until one day when you go Suburban Commando on them with your blaster Hulkamaniac. There are fewer cars at rush hour in SCL than there are at 4 am in Toronto. The scenery is second to none, well it depends on what you like, I like mountains, if you like waterfalls live somewhere else. Hitting the mountains for some well deserved skiing was outstanding and dare I say breathtaking, I’m not used to high altitude. Moving on, with epic mountains very close to the city featuring skiing, hiking, climbing, biking and every other adventure active sport available it’s easy to see how cool SLC can be.

By well fed I’m refereeing more to their restaurant scene than anything, I have a few favorites. If you’re ever in SLC I highly recommend Squatters or Red Rock, both have great food and variety on the menu, from fabulous filets to creative curries. To make matters better they both brew their own beer. Pause, Chad’s back, the duty free in Denver sucks, buyer beware LIMITED ALCOHOLIC SELECTION. Check out Settebello Pizzeria, amazing wood fired pizzas even thought the place itself isn’t much to look at. The pizzas on the menu are very inventive, and incredibly delicious, check out the menu. I don’t doubt that you can build your own pizza but there is a lot to be said for a restaurant that makes pizza that they confidently know is great. Hit up Toaster's for lunch and breakfast, seriously, they are slow as beans for a place that just makes toasted sandwiches but the final product is amazing, turkey avocado = delicious. Beware Red Tail Grill at the Canyons resort, perhaps we came on a weird afternoon but it was like an episode of the bad service zone starring us.

We walked in the door, stood in the lobby, didn’t see a hostess nor anyone of the many staff members interested in seating us, so we sat ourselves. The first person asked if we wanted water, sure man water’s good… The second staff member came by and asked if we had a reservation, no, we sat ourselves nobody seemed to be interested in seating us… She said “I’ll be right back I just want to check to see if any other people with a reservation are waiting for this table” Well we had just came from the lobby and nobody was waiting but us, where’s my damn water… The second waitress came by to tell us that she’s busy but will be right with us, great, at least you know we’re here, I was afraid that the fog on the mountain had turned us invisible; which would be pretty cool, the invisible man had it pretty good baby. Eventually after 15 to 20 minutes we got four waters for five people; math – common sense = ???. Carrying on, the manager came back, “yes you can sit here, nobody’s waiting” gee thanks, glad our money’s green too. Her tone warmed “What can I get you folks tonight” One person from my group suggested that Menus, cutlery, and drinks would be a good start, I agree. The busy waitress came back; to my delight she has a voice that can peel paint, in the bad way, use your imagination, I’d rather be ignored than have her serve us, it's bad. As an added bonus she’s also handsy, Chadwich knows how handsy, she caressed his shoulder the entire time that she was talking to the table behind us. She took our order, the menu is small the options limited, this isn’t hard especially since she wrote it all down. The food came with a large side order of more handsy another person in the group this time, why?.. We ordered 3 soup, 2 burgers, a salad, and shrimp tacos… We got, 1 soup, the wrong soup, the tacos, the salad, a burger, and a burger without the bacon and you gotta get the bacon baby especially when you've ordered it. Sweet, the service can get worse…She leaves, comes back as we’re eating and asks if she can get us anything else, we decide we want the soups and ask for them, she swears and exclaims “I'm sorry guys, this service is fucking bad!” No kidding, perhaps the toddlers nearby think the same thing about your language, gotta learn to swear somewhere. She leaves, my friend chimes in “she still didn’t bring the bacon for this burger.” We entertain telling her, agree that it’s a cruel thing to say and that we're going to let the waitress who’s having a bad day finish out her shift without killing herself. She comes back at the end of our service, “How was everything?” We nod as if approving, “This burger should have come with bacon though” and a nice unexpected blindside, not me; she’s more beat down, we say we don’t care about the bacon but she insists that she’s going to give us the burger for free. We pay the bill and get the hell out of there. I think as a group we’re more confused than pissed off, it was a comedy of errors, many errors, so many freaking errors!

That’s enough ranting for now, I’ll write more later, gotta fly.

...I had to cut the laptop blogging short, I'm on the plane now, dead battery, switching to Blackberry. I'm on a role, so keep on rollin' baby, you know what time it is. I found more blind mice. Of the 30 people on this small regional flight, 3 of them did not hear the clear announcements about having your passport checked before trying to board a plane to another country, go figure, that's an awful percentage of idiots if this were a study. I want an Ipad, the guy next to me has one, is nice! He says ten hours of battery life, that's a lot of typing and HD adult movies. Alright, the Stewardess says I'm supposed to put away my cellular device, g2g babies. Ps, some jack hole is romantically blathering on about fathoming the number of newspapers sold each day; I also like dinosaurs they've got words like prehistoric, Goliath, and extinct on their side, buy a computer Jack.

Monday March 7, 2011 - 5:30 Mountain Time

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Flying = :s

Four hour flights are a test of one’s sanity; it’s absolutely guaranteed that no matter who you are old or young, you’ll find yourself fidgeting on a four plus hour flight, really how could you not. I am stuck on one such flight; luckily my seat partner didn’t make the flight, one large bench for me. I’ve spent the early hours of my day traveling from Toronto to Chicago and now onto Salt Lake City. I made several interesting revelations while en route.

1) Never travel for business on a Saturday; Saturday is for pleasure travelers, family travelers, and anyone else who isn’t required to be there; I’m required to be here. It’s frustrating, the majority of them act as if they’ve never set foot in an airport before and at least 25% of people make stupid mistakes at every possible well marked checkpoint, perhaps it’s because the signs are in English… I need to look into literacy statistics when I land… Overheard conversation of the day: United Customer Service) everyone make sure you have your boarding passes ready if you’re going to check your baggage in this line. (After at least 10 cycles of the previous statement, he addresses two girls well ahead of me in line) Ladies do you have your boarding passes ready? Ladies) No, do we need them? United CS) Yes, you’ll have to go back to the kiosk and check in. Ladies) Well that’s just stupid, there should be a sign… Which brings me to my next point; if three blind mice can end up dead in the time span of a 6 line musical round, then two deaf girls should never travel together.

2) Adults are addicted to Starbucks! To put it in perspective, I was going to grab something at Starbucks for breakfast. I don’t go often enough to know drinks by name so I gravitate toward items that have exciting titles like Grande, or Venti! As I was about to hop into the massive Starbucks line at Pearson international I realized that the people at the back of the line, aka me would be there for some time before they were served so I opted to go to the vacant Molson pub next… door. Sorry I just popped the cover off of my S key, didn’t actually know that modern laptop keys clip on and off, learn something new every day. Back to the story. By the time I had finished my eggs Benedict, enjoyed my tea and paid my bill I checked next door to see how the Starbucks line was doing. To my surprise it was larger than before and the people that would have been just ahead of me in line where just about the counter area either being served or on deck to be. What a strange addiction, I would have lost my mind if I had to stand in line for a beverage for that long, it’s just a coffee or latté or caramel macchiato, and a little something that keeps them coming back, perhaps it’s smack…

3) Terminal C at O’Hare is fat food alley from gate 70 to 17, I felt fatter just being there, the smell of burnt butter and fryer grease in the air. I don’t know who planned that section of the terminal but I’ve never spent so little time window shopping a concourse. I was going to grab a snack at McDonalds (one of the healthier options, no joke) but I opted to stop at the Something Goose and grab a pint with a buddy of mine. Beer, the brunch of champions, demonstrated Illinois’s social responsibility hard at work even at 9:00 am. To top it off I had a conversation with a mother at the gate, who was traveling with a toddler, the mother told me she was jealous and would kill for a rye and coke. Alcoholism is a demanding lover. Oh yeah, guess what has an outstanding lineup in Chicago too? Hint, starts with star, ends with bucks; huge lineups again, grande hilarious!

Anyway, that catches me up to now, still on the plane, still bored and fidgety, probably doesn’t help that I have a short attention span, comma splice.

Post from 12:00 Central, Saturday February 26, 2011